This Far But No Further
2019 | site-specific installation & sound | Hors Concours curated by Raphael Vella
Maria Caruana was one of the few women who studied at the University of Malta during the early 20th century, and – even more unusually - participated in L-Għaqda tal-Malti – Università’s publication, Leħen il-Malti. One of her writings – Qawmien għal-Ħajja – describes the spiritual awakening or spiritual appreciation of a male protagonist. Why would Caruana, obviously intelligent and arguably confident, write about a male character, in particular when describing such a personal and subjective experience?
This Far, but No Further takes her text and changes the male protagonist into a female figure; it is now her enlightenment, rather than his. But, as we all know, the road to gender equality is not that simple, and a deep, male voice now reads the text.
Changes in society in the past few centuries have meant that women – in theory - are now free to study and pursue the career of their choice. The University of Malta has more female students than male – a commendable statistic – however does this give a false impression of gender balance within society?
Take literature and film for example, where male protagonists are preferred by writers and audiences alike - males are central characters in far more books and films than women.
This Far, but No Further invites you to sit among the flowers and listen to a man telling a woman’s story.
Part of Hors Concours, an exhibition commissioned by the University of Malta and curated by Raphael Vella, acknowledging the role of women at the University of Malta, since the first female students in 1919. Other exhibiting artists were Kristina Borg, Charlie Cauchi and Amber Fenech
Photos: Elisa von Brockdorff
BACK TO LIFE (QAWMIEN GĦALL-ĦAJJA)
adapted text - English translation
She woke up, looked around her and felt something stirring her inside. She had never felt this kind of happiness before. And after a few moments of absence, as if she’d been expecting something to happen, a realisation of new, previously unknown matters, dawned on her. And more than that, for the first time, she felt alive.
The morning’s beauty struck her like never before, leaving her full of awe and wonder. The sun rising, the colour of the roses, the birdsong, seemed all new to her. They seemed to be telling her that their beauty had been created just for her, were hers to enjoy. She was enthralled, deep in thoughts and feelings of calm, happiness and being at one with the world.
Before then, she’d been happy, but without knowing why. She hadn’t been unhappy, and moments of sadness were short and fleeting. They’d leave no trace. But now it seemed that the greater happiness brought along deeper sadness that stayed longer – her understanding and feeling seemed to grow, and her memories lingered for longer. So she feared losing her newly found happiness, which might fade away too quickly, in spite of a dawn of bliss seemingly beckoning her.
And she wanted to know more. She wanted to know why others didn’t share in her happiness, as other living things did; and why their cups didn’t overflow with universal bliss. She wanted to know whether other people felt what she felt, since no one had told her she’d change this way, while telling her about other things. She recalled how she seemed to be expecting this. She couldn’t grasp it all... But now it seemed she did! But not everything. She yearned to know more. She realised she knew nothing of the myriad things she could now, and that she’d run out of time of learning them all. She realised that on the one hand she couldn’t even describe her feelings, while on the other she sought to be wiser. But the happiness went on, suggesting that her joy at being alive was far more important than anything else.
It seemed she couldn’t fit all the serenity she felt inside herself. No place seemed spacious enough. Large, open spaces appealed to her. She wouldn’t be stopped. She’d drift off alone, far from everyone else, to let her pleasure roam at leisure.
Considering that others would be better off sharing her happiness, she turned back, speaking to people and asking questions of them.
No one seemed to understand. The old people paid her no attention and told her off, trimming her wings. Adults just ignored her and warned her to quit fooling herself. Her own friends found her amusing and mocked her. Overcoming her first reaction of shock, she became sad and lonely, since no one seemed to want to share her joy.
She had thought she’d make others happy. Now she was alone and sad, reflecting on the hidden joys that seemed to elude so many people. While she did grasp them, there was no one to share them with. She longed for at least one other person with whom to share her pain, and hence her joy, at being born back to life.